LAWSUIT THREATENED

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Elton John, Richard Simmons, and the estate of Liberace have entered into a joint lawsuit against WMD for defamation of character by naming their awards after them.

"I am appalled that this hateful group would insult me by comparing me to the effeminate Green Bay Baptist churches!", shrieked Simmons. "I am more masculine than any of them."

"I resent being so insulted as to be compared by those surly cads with such sissies as the Green Bay area Christians.", lisped Sir Elton. "I have enough courage to take a public stand for what I believe. These tinkerbells don't have that kind of manly courage." (Tinkerbell has filed suit against Mr. John for that slur comparing her unfavorably with Green Bay Baptists).

Reports indicate that seismographs registered a 6.9 on the Richter scale where Liberace was rolling over in his grave.

In a related move, Catholic priest, and suspected altar boy abuser, Father Seymour Butts, offered to swap pulpits with the Baptist churches in Green Bay. The Baptist churches refused to comment.

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